Heroes in a Hurry: Fastest Hat-Tricks in the 2022/2023 season

Just the fact that the word "hero" is attached to the term hat-trick shows just how much it is an accomplishment. Hence, when we speak about the fastest hat-tricks in the 2022/2023 season, we are entering a different pantheon of footballing achievement. Players who didn't just score three in a row, but actually leap the person changing the numbers on the scoreboard whilst doing it.

To put matters into perspective, the fastest hat-tricks ever were mostly scored in lower-tier leagues, in international games that happened over half a century ago, and in countries where football is barely professional.

With the exception of Sadio Mane’s two minutes and 56 seconds barrage in 2015 as a Southampton player to rout Aston Villa 6:1.

10 Fastest Hat-Tricks in the 2022/2023 Season in the Top Five Leagues

And, if you wondered who the best goalscorer in 2023 is, just a heads up - one man appears THREE times on this list of 10 fastest hat-tricks in the top five leagues!

Ivan Toney (28 minutes) - Brentford v Leeds 5:2

One of the most enjoyable hat-tricks of the bunch, as Ivan Toney opened the scoring with a penalty, and doubled the lead with a thunderous free kick that went into the keeper's top side. Finished by a long-range lob over several defenders after beting the rushed goalkeeper. Toney's first was in the 30th minute, meaning the hat-trick spaned two halves. To further illustrate the madness of the Premier League, Leeds scored in between Toney's second and third goal.

Erling Haaland (26 minutes) Manchester City vs Nottingham Forest 6:0

Not only did Erling Haaland break the fast hat-trick mark with his 26 minute three-goal-salvo, he did it with only 69 minutes on the pitch. Furthermore, not only was it one of the fastest hat-tricks of the season, it was a perfect hat-trick! Firstly Haaland scored a left-footed shot in the 12th minute. Another goal from within the box came 11 minutes later but with the right foot. With a header sealing the perfection in the 38th minute.

Folarin Balogun (20 minutes) Stade Reims vs Lorient 4:2

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Unlike in the examples of the fastest hat-tricks we had so far, Folarin Balogun started his salvo while his team was 2:0 down! He gave the side hope in the 44th minute with a straight-down-the-middle penalty before the break. His teammate equalized six minutes into the new half, and in the 61st minute Balogun reacted quickly to a deflected cross to slot it in. His last goal, three minutes after, was a thing of striking beauty, as a long diagonal ball was slotted with a precise left-foot shot.

Erling Haaland (19 minutes) Manchester City vs Crystal Palace 4:2

It was Erling Haaland's first hat-trick for Manchester City and it happened already in August of his first campaign as a Citizen. Crystal Palace was leading for most of the game, with the score at 2:1 as Erling entered the plot in a major way. A header of a short cross by Phil Foden equalized the score in the 62nd minute. In eight minutes time, after a kerfuffle in the box, Haaland pushed the ball behind the undefended line. He secured the match ball by scoring a left-footed counterattack finish in the 81st minute!

Vincenzo Grifo (16 minutes) - Freiburg vs Union Berlin 4:1

The Italian winger on permanent work relocation to Germany had a great 2022/2023 season with 17 goals total, but the crown was the extremely fast hat-trick he scored in the Bundesliga. Against Union Berlin who ended up qualifying for Champions League football, of all teams. Grifo's fast hat-trick was one of the most satisfying ones as it started as the game did, in the fourth minute with an authoritative penalty. A counterattack followed just two minutes later and Grifo slid to catch a left foot effort. His scoring for the day was finished in the 20th minute of the match, with another powerful penalty.

Erling Haaland (14 minutes) Manchester City vs Wolverhampton 3:0

Another Erling Haaland hat-trick in his debut season with City, which would be impressive on its own, considering it was another barrage, it's otherwordly. Haaland particularly enjoys playing at the Etihad as its the stadium where he had all of his fastest hat-tricks of the season. His tally for the Wolves match started in the 40th minute with a header, the tempo continued with a penalty in the 50th minute. While Riyad Mahrez was unselfish to assist Haaland for his third in the 54th for a left-footed finish.

Wissam Ben Yeder (14 minutes) - Monaco vs Ajaccio 7:1

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Within one of the most memorable scores of the top five leagues in the 2022/2023 season, Wissam Ben Yedder had a feat of its own. Wiht the captain's armband on his arm, he started for the 3:1 score with a calm left-footed finish after coming in from the right wing. The second goal came seven minutes later, in the 28th minute, with a sly shot from the opposite end of the box. The quick hat-trick was finished in the 35th minute from the penalty spot.

Heung-min Son (13 minutes) - Tottenham Hotspur vs Leicester City 6:2

Fast players score fast hat-tricks and Heung-min Son scored one in just 13 minutes against Leicester City. In a dynamic game that saw LCFC take the lead, lose it, and equalize, Son activated when it was 3:2 for his side. As the Foxes had to push forward to salvage the match, they left room for the speedster and all three goals were scored from a counter. Yet the first two - in the 73rd and 84th minute - were magnificent long-range efforts with both the right and the left foot. While the last one came from deep inside the box in the 86th minute.

Karim Benzema (7 minutes) - Real Madrid vs Real Valladolid 6:0

One of the most memorable hat-tricks on the list, not just because of it blinding speed, but the beauty of the goals. The first one, for 2:0 was a low-flying header where Benzema felt the grass on his face as he slid in to make it count. The third goal for Real and second for Benz was a powerful right-foot shoot from the edge of the box. Topped off with an acrobatic over-the-head effort to put the score at 4:0. Scoring in the 29th, 32nd, 36th minute Benzema had a memorable performance in just 65 minutes.

Lois Openda (5 minutes) - Lenvs vs Clermont Foot 63

But the fastest hat-trick of the 2022/2023 season across the top five European leagues was scored by Lois Openda for Lens against Clermont Foot 63. It took the centre-forward just five minutes, starting in the 30th and ending in the 35th minute of a 4:1 rout. Yet the young forward had a lot of help from the Clermont Foot 63 defence, starting with the goalkeeper. But Openda did score three times with his weaker foot and bagging three in five is a feat for the Sunday league, let alone the professional top-tier division.